Before I start the story ef u have sitn gense badwud tun back from now cah dahhh story yah isnt far di weak af heart......
So ef u know me like some people know me ... you know me have a deep seated love and appreciation for food and as I work for minimum wage at Golden Circle Plantation you know I have to tek the country bus to Coronation Market ..... Ok...... translation ...... A dung a Curry mi shop .... cah mi nuh know why mi must a gwaan officious suh .... bout Coronation Market 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
Anyways .... Sooooooo month end weekend and mi leff mi yaad hearly fi beat di Philistines dem to market ... cah massa wen Curry full anuh likkle pickney sitn.... Finish mi shopping and and drag mi wares to the country bus park ..... aka Pechon Street park..... No damn bus.... neither Coaster nor JUTC bus .... People sprawl off all over the place .... eyeing the entrance and formulating the best route to stampede dem neighbour as soon as a bus appear on horizon. Low and behold a coaster appear ..... Jesus deliver me .... mi say ....... people appear like ants pon a dollar bread.... Lucky for me the resident vendor "Sweaty".....grab mi travelling and push it through a window so at least mi bag secure in a seat.
When the stampede was finished I gently made my way into the bus and tried to arrange my kurroches in my lap so I could be as comfy as possible... yeahhhh a deh suh di drama start ....
So a male higgler whom I shall refer to Good Bwoi....... have a big rass bag outta door pon a pulley..... so he decided that he was going to commandeer the seat that faced the door beside guess who .... Nuh me ......😏. Hear Good Bwoi to the likkle old lady beside mi nuh..... " Hey Auntie mah need dah seat yah ennuh.... " Di lady look up pon him and say " mi nah move"
Good Bwoi say .... Arite den .... and put eeen di trolley and pen eeen the oman and me inna di corner 😒. While dis a gwaan ennuh ... di bus still a load and we a wait bout 15 minutes cah di ducta deciden say him nah lefff til di bus ram up like dance hall........
Now occupying the seat befront me was a homan wid a wig that looked like it had spent at least 6 weeks more than the intended time pon har head..... it had streaks from about 5 different colours .... in effect har wig wenna compete wit Bozzo the clown 😂😂😂😂😂...... now all this time she a sing pon the tappest of har vice ...... 😋😋😋😋😋😋
"Mi cyah hold it mi a bawl out..... a regila mi haffi bawl out"...... When that song rere to finish like a light bulb go off ova har head and shi start tek stock of the amount of time were were waiting. 😒😒😒😒😒😒
Mi ongle hear wen she halla out...... " Hey Ducta bwoiiiiiiiiiiii" 😡😡😡😡😡😡
with that drawl perfcted by ghetto gyals all ova
Call the big hole jiva nuh....... Yuh nuh see seh di bus looooooaaaaaaaddddddd" 😡😡😡😡
And the tirade continued .......
Hey a mus a big belly jiva a jive da bus yaaaaaahhhhhhhh ennuuuhhhhhhh.....
Jivaaaaaaaa ....... a rerk u deh ennnuuhhhhhh..... why yah suffer people suh ..... BBC.....
Yuh is a real fucking Satan Bwoi ennuh...... 😡😡😡😡
By this time the driver had jumped in the saddle ..... but was refusing to drive the bus with Xena warrior princess....😒😒😒😒😒
Driver : Come offa mi bus .... mi nah carry yuh
Xena : BBhole come tek mi afffffffffff...... Mi nah come aff ............. Mi a Jesus pickney.... No Satan Bwoi cyah touch miiiiiiiiiiiiii.
Yah do yuh rerk ....... yuh fi treat we betta man ..... mi need fi gah mi shop fi hustle mi pawdna .....
Cah unnuh si how mi lukker and nice mi cyah sell sawl.
Xena rere proceed to cus the jiva from town straight to Portmore Mall before she come off. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
To how Xena dig up di bus all Good Bwoi end up palagize to grandma..... waiiiiii no sah
Look yah man..... mi know say deep down some a unnuh a wonder if me a attract trouble ennuh but mi swear mi innocent. Trouble a run mi dung breathless and naked .... Suh unnuh pray fi mi deh
