As we say goodbye

If we knew the exact minute of our demise, would our decisions be different?
Would we treat others differently ?
Our mortality is a issue that we often shy away from. Families lose track if its members and often times it takes a tragedy for members to unite.

As my family mourns the loss of a cornerstone,  I  cant help but wonder, why do families wait until  tragedy strikes to reunite.

Here's to rebuilding family bonds as we say farewell to a daughter, a sister and a mom.

Rest in peace .... Joy Hyacinth Mitchell.

Dear Jesus protect us from harm and green arm

Having spent my teenage years in a rural community in Westmoreland I was exposed to a whole host of myths ranging from how to ward off duppy to how to eradicate green arm. Today as I was held hostage on the bus by a man with the greenest of arms I tried to remember what mamma used to say was the sure fire remedy for that affliction. Was it baking soda? Hot potato? Banana leave? Unfortunately my brain decided to pull blanks.

You mean to tell me in modern day Jamaica with running water and cheap soap people still a walk around with " green arm"

Not even the memories from  when I used to walk past saw mills as a child with freshly cut cedar tree could compete. The man rere so green and the a/c just circulate the scent I almost passed flat out.

That stomach turning smell need axe, halls,gingerlog, icy mint sweetie inna one fi help soothe the stomach.

Oh lord please  protect  us from harm and these wicked green arms.

Golden Circle Chronicles: The Porter

Now I say Golden Circle is notorious for having a diversified combination of characters as staff members. Some are brilliant, others troubled, some shoulder deep seated self esteem issues , some are psychotic, others vindictive, some loquacious, then there are the  oversexed and also the desperately in need it sex.

Its funny, everyday we interact with each other and have no clue how our colleague categorise or perceive us.

While on one my dreaded weekend duties I was drawn into a conversation with a young man who is of the impression that he is the cats pyjamas.

His idea of romancing is to talk a woman to into submission...... Like seriously the young man must have a steady diet of chicken batty fah man nuh spose to chat suh much.

Gentle Jesus him chat till mi haffi just give up and move. I had to say to him .... Mr World women rarely take to men who are as chatty as you.

His response ....... him nuh business wat Oman wah think ..... So obviously him a look fi mate wid a goat because no woman in her right mind will want a man that daily routine have more dialogue that all the day time soap operas combined.

Puppa Jesus if you nuh busy .... Intervene fi mi. Woooiiiiii

After me a tell the fellow fi tone down wid Di mout a massy business him say ... Some people like you come here a wrench up yuh face because you home life miserable and is people like me haffi cheer unnuh up.

Yeah after him say dat mi brain immediately run outta phone card and mi jus hang up.

Just goes to show how people stay inna dem coop and a pree people going on their merry way ... Did damn outta order bwoy .......

Ahhhh sah ..... The chronicles continues.

Mass Joe

No sah ..... I get very fraid with my business these last few days... because the scandal business it tun up inna di place. From this week start, people's business has been the source of my unending laughter and to close off the week a conductor crack me up pon di country bus  aka  (portmore coaster) inna this Friday yah.

Of course if you ever take a country bus aka portmore coaster you know that the driver and the conductor nuh normally have dem mannaz pon dem.
So doh get frisky and try toe to toe wid them or dem will chat you business .... whether it is  real or imagined.

Soooooooo...... this slim girl is escorted to the bus by her doting spouse (we assume), who gives her money and hands over her corouches after she is properly seated , he then proceeds to wait until the bus drives off before walking  away in the opposite direction.

Woiiiii as di bus cross over the stop light hear di girl inna a very stocious voice.
Ahhhhhhmmmm conductor yuh can let me off please I want to take a 20a instead. Hear di wicked conductor yeah come up wid the fare , is bills from the bus drive off the stand.

Poor girl haffi  pay 100 dollar for one minute drive. Hear the conductor after she come off.

Think unnuh Oman easy ..... Hmmmm give di man a big ass pill inna di evening and now she gawn over to Joe. Then he proceeds to ask the women on the bus if any of them know Mass Joe.

Hear him ....Mass Joe annuh easy bwoy ennuh, him specialise inna tekking whey man Oman.

Hahaha no sah

People remember if you have to take a country bus .....  keep the business under wraps because these bus men are like leaky fridge dem nuh play fi leak people business.

6:30 | Patois Definition on Jamaican Patwah

6:30 | Patois Definition on Jamaican Patwah

Oh brother why me ?

Leaving school to go to home in the country (aka Portmore) when you don't own a vehicle is no laughing matter  but every now and again you will come across an individual that will crack you up.

So..... after fighting and sustaining a few body blows from my fellow county residents I made it into a coaster bus.

The driver is a very Rick Ross like..... And I ain't talking bout just lose a hundred pounds skinny Rick Ross . Rick Ross with the Santa Clause gut.

He turned to me and asked
" You married ?"
I replied no I am not married
He say " ohhhhh "
By this time I am curious as to why he would ask this question and then follow up with ohhhhh.

So me tek my nuff self and decide to press him for the answer to my questions.

Bwoy was I wrong I should have just remained curious.

So I asked him why the ohhhhhh ?

His response

"Well mi know you cyah wash and mi know yuh cyah cook and mi know seh you especially cyah do 6:30 "

To which all the women at the front of the bus start cracking up.

What was funny to me is that I don't even think he would know what to do with 6:30 with him oversize self. Cho kmt .

Bwoy me neva know say a suh di married ting tun up. Woooooiiiiiiii guess immo be unmarried for a while if 6:30 is a prerequisite.

Hmmmm guess its true curiosity really does kill the cat.
#lessonlearnt - doh try toe to toe wid bus man.

Golden Circle Hospital Chronicles : Unnuh Sick mi stomach

Protect us from evil ohhh lord as we venture to Golden Circle.

Every day we leave the comfort of our homes and come to Golden Circle to endure the abuse. Golden Circle patience are very vilence ennuh and the brunt of the anger is directed to the clerical worker and security personnel.

Typical day @ Golden Circle

Clerical officer : "Come this way ma'am, pass the security then have a seat and  wait for your name to be called"

Patient : "Come Babes"

Clerical officer: "No ma'am just you, its patient only."

Patient: "a wah happen to dem dutty people yah man? Annuh bwoy fren dat  ennuh lady, dat a husband. Nuff ah unnuh nuh like see oman wid dem man cyah  unnuh nuh have none fi unnuh self."

Clerical Officer: "yes man and after all is said and done is just the patient alone can come."

By this time har face thoroughly crease up and har mouth long like swordfish.

Patient: "Security mi husband cyah come eeen?"

Security: "Miss you have to follow the instruction the lady just gave you."

Patient:" Di whole ah unnuh up yah sick mi stomach. "

Ahhhh keep us in unnuh prayers people ....ohhh fah we needs it .

The Heart's Woes Series - Tilani

The Heart's Woes Series is the next project and book one is already being written.

This series chronicles the journey of six dynamically different women who have formed an unlikely bond of friendship.

Introducing the ladies of The Heart's Woes Series.

Meet Tilani  "The timid"

Baptised at the age of 11 she was raised in an ideal family setting where the main objective of her existence was  to love and fear the word of God and grow up to be the good and obedient wife.
She followed the path as laid by her parents.Kept her self pure, her face in a book, and her eyes trained out to find Mr Right.
She had been in the natural movement from birth as she didn't believe in processing her hair, she had never had a piercing or wore make up. Her brows were the way they were from birth, she had never bothered to have them waxed or shaved, not that they needed it anyway.
Shy and reserved and and painfully self aware she was the constant centre of attention whenever she stepped into a room; as she had been blessed with an unusually large and shapely derrière.
An emotional house of card she was happy to have the met her spouse early to be in protected from the ills of the cyclonic relationships her friends had endured until her husband decided to turn her world upside down.

" only a look"

I have been criticized for my stance on children, childbearing and child rearing and as I in earnest prepare to take on the challenges of the classroom I have started paying close attention to the behavior of the children around me.
Working at Golden Circle Hospital has provided a whole host of examples of where the children in our society are. Manners......what is that? Modesty ....... another language? The only thing most of them get high scores for is indecent exposure.
Typical example... my colleagues are presently nursing a 14yr old patient...... whose parents complained bitterly about the severity of her condition.
Yet as soon as she is wheeled on to the unit she pitches out of the bed and proceeds to galivant all ova di blasted place. When she did return to the bed it was only to take up her lip stick and face powder.
Puppa Jesus if yuh nuh bizzi..... check eeen pon mi affor mi tempa tek mi.

Now those of us who grew up in the "one look generation " knows that our parents used to give us the ultimate fear factor experience...... as the singer said " only a look" and you would know that to continue on said path would leave our tush in a sling.
What has become of parental responsibility, social propriety?
I therefore take time out to thank the parents who take parenting seriously and commit the time necessary to guide their children to become contributing members of society.
Lord keep strong ..... Mamma bear big up ... big up .... big up.....

Golden Circle Hospital Chronicles; Being patient with these patients

Dearest baby Jesus

Take the pillow and leave the case; the staff of Golden Circle hospital need to be commended for just turning up for work on any given day.

Today to rahtid.... on the plantation observing the ebbs and flow of the day, just trying to be a helpful ant on the farm.

Tek mi brite self and offer wah crosses lady help. Ehhh ehh.

She jump pon mi ..... " Look here receptionist person ... I am here to speak to a doctor.....  Are you a doctor? Hmmmm?"

Puppa Jesus.... I just take up my non-doctor self and exit stage right .... Cah mi nuh know why me soooo bright.

Ahhhh Golden Circle hospital staff we need to get extra pay fi di patience fi deal wid di patients.

Whhhhhhewwww.

Being Me.

I am often criticized for my views ranging from lifestyle choices, to child rearing and relationships but lets be honest more persons need to evaluate their choices before they make them.
When my friends from high school see me, or hit me up via social media they ask the same questions
Are you married?
Do you have kids?
No
No
I have been too obsessed with knowing, pleasing and loving myself to have any time to fully dedicate to another human being.
And if and when I do decide to pursue either I am sure I will be happier for it, having thoroughly enjoyed being me; happy and single and free.