STFU mayne KMFT

The truth is stranger than fiction and every damn time I say I have heard it all here comes a nigga to tell me some horse manure.

Now, being a professed Tom boy my male friends sometimes forget that I am indeed a girl. The crap they say around me crack me up as well as horrifies me.

Monday

K : 
Yo some Oman can gwaannie gwaaanie u see
Like dem betta dan fi have a side man. Yo unnuh know di goodness fi share.

Me: STFU retard, walks away.

Thursday 

K:

Yo mi feel conflicted, Mi meet a chick Monday an last nite when she a show me wat har mout do, mi find miself a think bout how much practice dah gyal ya muss get; and from how much adda man fi skill suh. Plus she have har man, yo yuh cyah find nuh loyal gyal again ennuh.

Me:Shouting STFU nuh fockn retard.

Worst than my friends are my subordinates

So I'm chilling at work listening to the juvez dem chat bout the situation that is their life.

Background info di juvez dem in the department are between 17 and 25. So dem chatting up a storm.
As much life experience as they have combined, its enough to fill a teaspoon but who am I to judge rite?

B: yo mi feel like mi madda muss can mek 5g werk fi fude fi di month, wah unnuh think?

Me: face palm Wtf, So wat if ur girl come over ?

B: wah u mean supe cornflakes and chill.

Me: That's at least $1000, cornflakes and lasco expensive.

B: No supe cornflakes alone, we aguh eat it like popcorn.

Me: STFU kmdt 

O: All mi need fi get a sawt out dung a Backtu is a 108 digi phone card.

Me: STFU before me punch yuh in u damn mouth kmft.

T: mi like independent oman weh mi nuh haffi worry about giving them ma money bra.

Me: STFU before mi get smaddy fi frigg you up.

B: Yo mi neva know say when you invite a girl to watch movies a you supposed to pay. Mi invite the girl fi watch the movies and mi nuh see har a reach fi har purse. I was like shittttt wonder if mi haffi buy food too?

Me: STFU cho warra warra hit man a wah kinda man dem yah kmft.